


Prelude to Light

by Ravens_World



Series: the worst of storms, and the sun that shines through [3]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Kid Fic, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28266927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravens_World/pseuds/Ravens_World
Summary: "He swallowed thickly past the lump in his throat and tried, desperately, to put the images of Alex with someone else, a boyfriend or a husband and kids, out of his mind.It didn't work."Five times Michael watched, and pined away after, Alex interacting with others'  kids and the one time it was their kid.
Relationships: Isabel Evans/Gregory Manes, Max Evans/Liz Ortecho, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: the worst of storms, and the sun that shines through [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2062128
Comments: 66
Kudos: 79





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [benkouji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/benkouji/gifts).



> For Wei, who I absolutely adore and who has been so so very supportive. I've been wanting to write a follow up to WBDOPH, and its sequel, since you requested it, and whatever I attempted to write just never seemed to fit.
> 
> At the same time, I was also writing a kid fic that was, frustratingly enough, also not going anywhere.
> 
> So, my genius plan was to just yo combine the two and hopefully give Malex the happy ending they deserve. 
> 
> PS I honestly don't know what the fandom's stance on Malex+kids is, but for me, especially with what we've seen from Michael, which I took to mean that he wants kids, and seeing as we don't know where Alex stands, I'm assuming they do want them. 
> 
> Sorry for the ramble,  
> and  
> Happy Reading!!

I.

When Michael saw Forrest's car parked in Alex's driveway, he seriously contemplated turning the car around and driving away. 

But then he stopped, and reminded himself that he was here for a reason. A damn good reason.

" _Put your big boy pants on and talk to him,_ " Isobel had told him a few hours ago. " _Look, whether you like it or not, we need Alex on this, alright?"_

And they did; Michael just hadn't wanted to admit it. Because Alex had seemed happy, these past few weeks, and Michael didn't want to ruin that by dragging him back to deal with more alien problems. When he'd said as much to Isobel, he had recieved an incredulous look followed by a condescending pat on the cheek. 

Michael hadn't wanted to bring Alex, or anyone, in, and Isobel had gone with it even though he could tell she disapproved. But that was until Jones had managed to escape the makeshift prison they'd put him in last night and seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth. 

Now, they needed Alex to track him down and probably help with capturing him, and he was nervous about asking him for the help. Not because he thought Alex might say no to him; they'd never been very good at saying no to each other, and on the rare occasion they did say it, they sucked at following through with it. There was also the fact that Alex wouldn't turn his back on them, no matter what. No, Michael's reluctance was born out of a more selfish reason; he didn't want to revert back to their old ways. Just a few days ago, Alex had invited him for a beer and they'd managed, somewhat awkwardly, to have a friendly talk about nothing of importance. It was a tentative start to building a solid foundation to a friendship -and hopefully something more- and Michael was terrified of ruining it.

This, asking for favors and dragging him back into the chaos when Alex had slowly but surely been pulling away from that aspect of their lives, would surely be a setback.

Michael leaned forward and let his head rest on the steering wheel. Then, he groaned. Loudly. He didn't want to do this. And he really didn't want to see Forrest today. Not _in_ Alex's home. Not _with_ Alex. He hadn't slept in days, he was a few hours away from a mental breakdown, and seeing them together would only propel him towards said breakdown faster. 

There was also the fact that Forrest being there meant Michael wouldn't be able to tell Alex what he came to talk to him about, and things would get awkward really fast. 

Michael groaned again, and was about to start the car and drive away when he heard a squeel coming from Alex's yard. That was definitely a child's voice. His hands fell down and away from the steering wheel and he was thankful that the wall surrounding Alex's house was low enough that he could see clearly into the yard. Michael watched as Alex emerged from his house, a wide smile on his lips, and found himself smiling too, helplessly endeared. There was a blur of movement and only then did Michael notice the little girl running around the yard. Alex chased her a little bit, feigning an inability to catch her, and she screamed in delight every time his hand brushed her arm or her torso. This went on for a while, and Michael wasn't sure how long exactly because he was, frankly, mesmerized. 

Alex caught the little girl around the waist and held her up in the air, and she giggled wildly. 

The front door opened and out emerged Forrest. Michael was frozen, and he watched as the man approached Alex and the kid, a soft smile on his lips. They spoke softly and when Alex laughed loudly at something Forrest had said, the little girl did the same. She rested her head on Alex's shoulder as Forrest stroked one hand down her arm and put the other one around Alex's shoulder. 

And- seeing that was like a punch to the gut. With shaking hands, he went through the motions of turning on the car and backing out of the driveway. 

He swallowed thickly past the lump in his throat and tried, desperately, to put the images of Alex with someone else, a boyfriend or a husband and kids, out of his mind. 

It didn't work. 


	2. II.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Seeing Alex like this, soft and fond, with one kid in his arms and one leaning against his leg, was making it harder and harder for him to keep from spilling all his feelings out, though. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bradley makes a comeback!! 
> 
> For those of you not familiar with Bradley, he's an OC introduced in the first fic of this series and he was one of Alex's former teammates. 
> 
> That's really all you need to know, I think...
> 
> Also, I feel really validated after that Malex Dads comment on the vlambase photo 😌😂
> 
> Happy Reading!! 🖤

II.

Michael rarely, if ever, crossed paths with Alex in town, so he was surprised when he bumped into him on his way out of the Crashdown. 

" _Shit_ ," Alex cursed, transferring the coffee from one hand to another in order to wipe off the coffee that had burned him on his jeans. 

"Hey, little ears!" 

Bradley, Alex's former squadmate, whom Michael had last seen three weeks ago, had one of his hands covering a little boy's ears as he glared at Alex. 

Michael smiled at the man and offered him a hand to shake as Alex rolled his eyes and huffed. "You say that like you and Linda don't curse at basically everything all the time."

Bradley opened his mouth as if to protest, only to concede to his point with a shrug. 

"Hey, Guerin," Alex greeted him brightly. 

Michael grinned. "Hi. Sorry about that," he indicated his burnt hand.

Alex waved him off. "It's fi-"

"Hey, Michael should keep you and the kids comapny tonight!" Bradley interrupted him and Alex stared at him in confusion.

Michael himself was confused, too. "What kids?"

"Alex here volunteered-"

"I was blackmailed," Alex muttered, only to receive an elbow to the side. 

"He volunteered to watch the kids, so that my wife and I can go on a date. You should keep him company. Hey," he exclaimed, snapping his fingers and pointing at Michael. "Come with us right now! You can meet Allie and Brie!" 

Michael stared at him, a little incredulous. The guy was smiling widely, but there was a glint in his eye that told Michael he was up to something. Michael's eyes darted over to Alex, who was staring at his friend like he'd grown two heads. 

Michael's heart sank and he did his best to smile convincingly. "Maybe another time. I'l-"

"You should come," Alex interrupted him softly, words quiet but sincere. Or maybe that was just Michael's wishful thinking. "If you're not busy?"

He was giving him an out, and Michael didn't even consider taking it, desperate as he was to spend some time with Alex that didn't involve any discussions about imminent disasters.

"I'd love to."

Alex's answering smile, small as it was, was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in a long time.   
...

The car ride to Alex's house was filled with kid songs and Alex mocking Bradley for it. Michael's cheeks actually hurt from the non-stop smiling. 

When they got to the house, there was the sound of laughter, the source of which was a woman sitting by the pool, legs tipped in and watching a kid that looked about four years old flailing around in the water. "Dad!" The little girl said excitedly once she spotted them. "Uncle Alex! Look, I'm swimming."   
As if to demonstrate, she did more flailing, and Michael resisted the urge to laugh as the girl's parents oohed and Bradley even clapped. 

"Good job, Brie!" Alex called and elbowed Michael in the ribs. 

He rubbed the spot and glared at Alex. "Ow, the hell was that for?" 

Alex raised one perfect eyebrow and Michael shrugged, conceding to his point without argument. 

Bradley's wife was now in front of them and Michael was treated to a megawatt smile that was so genuine he found himself smiling back automatically. "I'm Allison, this one's wife," she said, gesturing at Bradley, then holding out her hand. 

Michael took her hand in his. "Michael Guerin," he introduced himself. 

Her eyebrows hit her hairline, but she seemed to recover quickly. Michael wondered if she knew about his history with Alex, too, considering the fact that her reaction to hearing his name was almost identical to her husband's. "Nice to meet you, Michael. I hope you're hungry, because Alex is going to make us pancakes. Sometime this year, right, Alex?"

Alex rolled his eyes and started making his way to the house. "Keep that up and you won't be getting any."

Allison took the boy- and Michael needed to ask about the kid's name at some point- from Bradley's arms and Michael watched the two bicker until they disappeared inside. He and Bradley stayed by the pool, watching Brie, and Michael found himself smiling. 

"How have you been, man?"

His life was a shit show, but he wasn't going to tell that to a relative stranger. "I'm alright. You?" 

Bradley grinned. "Can't complain. Though, I really need to teach my kid how to swim. Look at her," Bradley complained, but he was smiling fondly.

Michael chuckled. 

"Hey, Brie," Bradley called out, walking closer to the edge of the pool. "Uncle Alex is going to make pancakes."

The little girl perked up and quickly swam closer to her father. Once she was out and in a towel, she finally seemed to notice Michael. "Who are you?" She demanded, not shying away from him as he had expected.

Bradley groaned. "Brie, that's rude. You should-"

"It's fine," Michael interrupted him. Then he looked Brie in the eyes and answered. "I'm Michael. Alex's friend."

She nodded, satisfied with his answer. "Do you like pancakes?"

"I do."

"Good," she told him firmly. "Uncle Alex makes the best pancakes. He promised he'd let me help today."

Once her dad put her down, she disappeared into what Michael guessed was the guest room. 

Bradley was shaking his head with a small, exasperated smile on his face. "That girl has no manners sometimes," he told Allison jockingly as she came to stand beside him.

She rose on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Just like her daddy," she teased him, then laughed at his outrage. 

Brie came out of the room, dressed in a bright pink dress. "Uncle Alex," she shouted, and Michael had to wince because, damn, the kid was loud. "I'm ready!"

" _Honey_ ," admonished Allison, "inside voice."

"Sorry," Brie said with a sheepish grin.

Alex met her at the kitchen door and scooped her up into his arms, tickling her. 

Michael followed them into the kitchen without a thought. "Can I help?"

"I help uncle Alex," Brie declared, hands on her hips.

Alex pursed his lips to keep from smiling and shook his head. He helped the little girl get on the stool and looked at her seriously. "You have to listen very carefully, okay, honey?" 

She nodded frantically and then promptly took a big scoop of flour in the measuring cup and dumped it in a bowl. 

Alex gave a long suffering sigh. "Brie, what did I just say?"

She looked over her shoulder at him. "Sorry, uncle Alex." 

She didn't sound sorry at all.

He gently took the measuring cup from her hand and gave her a plastic spoon instead. "Stir."

She nodded, poked her tongue out adorably and started carefully stirring. 

"You can go sit in the living room. They don't bite, you know," Alex told him, amused.

"I know that," Michael protested. "I wanted to see if you wanted any help."

"Thank you, but," he rested his head on Brie's shoulders, "we've got this. Here," he grabbed three beers from from the fridge and handed them to him. "Go."

He stopped at the doorway, unable to resist catching another glimpse of the two. 

"Brie, hands away from the bowl," Alex warned as he brought the small pan with melted butter closer. The girl listened immediately, jumping up and down impatiently. 

She rested her chin in the crook of his elbow, and Michael noticed Alex leaning down to accommodate her better. "When can I stir again, uncle Alex?" 

"In a little bit, honey," he promised, kissing her head. 

"Michael," Bradley called out from the couch, startling Michael. Alex looked up, and Michael immediately looked away, and hurried over to the couch. When Michael took a seat opposite them, he found the couple fixing him with twin knowing looks. 

He inwardly rolled his eyes, aware that he was that much of an open book. 

"So," Allison started once he was seated. "How long have you known Alex?"

"We've known each other since we were kids, but we didn't really start talking until our last year of high school," he answered, and hated that he was so nervous he almost sounded formal. 

"Hmm," there was a look in her eyes that, coupled with the smirk on her lips, made it seem like she knew something he didn't, which just made him more nervous. "And now?"

"We're," Michael started, then cleared his throat and tried again. "We're friends."

She arched an eyebrow and shared a look with Bradley, who seemed disappointed. Michael bristled. But then he pushed down the anger and changed the subject. "How did you two meet?"

Allison smiled like she knew what he was doing and Bradley laughed. "We were on leave, and we were at this diner-"

"Denny's," Allison interjected with a smile, leaning on her husband's chest and looking up at him with a small smile.

"Yep. And suddenly, this girl who works at the diner plays a song on the beat up jukebox and starts dancing right there in the middle of the diner." He looked down at his wife then leaned in to kiss her, chaste and sweet. Michael's heart ached, and all he could think about was how much he wanted what they had.

"That was the second I fell in love with her."

Allison rolled her eyes. "You didn't. You had a crush, but you didn't love me. Yet."

Bradley looked at Michael with an exasperated look. "She doesn't believe in love at first sight."

"It's stupid," she declared, almost whining. "You can't love someone without knowing them first. Michael, back me up,"

"I don't know," he answered honestly, eyes drawn to the kitchen almost against his will. He couldn't see Alex and Brie from where he was sitting, but he could hear Alex's voice, endlessly patient, giving the little girl instructions.

Michael didn't really have an opinion on whether or not love at first sight really existed. Mainly because he'd only fallen for one person, and he'd been about nine the first time he'd laid eyes on him, and seventeen when he'd fallen in love with him. 

Allison let it go, and she changed the subject easily. Michael was immensely grateful.  
..

When Allison and Bradley left, Alex tasked Brie with finding a movie to watch and handed Michael a beer before he disappeared into the room the Bradley's little boy was sleeping in and came out with the sleepy kid in one arm and a bag of legos in the other. 

"Michael," Alex started, lips stretched into a smile. "Meet Adam."

He sat beside Michael, leaving only a foot of space between them and angled his body towards him so that the kid, who was sitting in his lap, faced Michael. 

Michael extended his hand and smiled broadly when the boy grabbed his finger and pulled. "Hey, Adam," Michael greeted him, shaking his hand a little. He laughed when the kid tugged him closer and started to pull his finger to his mouth. 

Alex chuckled. "He's teething," he explained.

"Ah," Michael winced sympathetically. "Poor guy."

"Here, hold him for a second," Alex said, standing up. He then put the kid in Michael's lap without waiting for a response. 

Michael was embarrassed to admit that he found himself in a stare-off with a one year old. He held very still, maintained eye contact, and prayed that the kid kept quiet long enough for Alex to come back. The little boy only fussed a little, but otherwise stayed silent. 

Alex was back after only a couple of minutes, a teething ring shaped like a melon held in his hand. He took Adam from Michael and gave him the ring, and Michael smiled when the boy immediately latched onto it and began to bite it enthusiastically. Brie, who was building a Lego bridge, leaned her head back until it collided with Alex's knee. He looked down, and the soft, fond look on his face was nearly Michael's undoing.

"Uncle Alex?" Brie said, somewhat impatient. 

Alex put his hand on her head and ruffled her hair. "You can start the movie," he told her. 

Michael shook his head and laughed. "How did you know?"

Alex watched with a fond smile as the girl hurried off to start the movie, and Michael watched him, hoping against hope his feelings weren't plastered on his face.

"I babysit them a lot," was Alex's answer. 

Michael's eyes were drawn to Adam, and he chuckled when he noticed the dopey look on the kid's face as he smiled up at Alex. The sound brought Alex's eyes to him, and then to Adam, and he laughed as he leaned down and nuzzled his nose into the kid's cheek. Adam giggled happily and Michael's heart melted. 

Adam started babbling, and Alex nodded very seriously. "I know, little man, I-"

"Shhh," Brie scolded them, turning back with a frown. Michael hadn't even noticed she'd started the movie. 

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me, missy, but we're having a very serious conversation. Aren't we, Adam?" 

Brie huffed. "Uncle Alex," she whined, drawing the words out.

"Kid, you can probably recite every scene in this movie word for word."

"I can," she nodded. "But I want to watch it."

Alex shook his head. "Go ahead, your highness."

She giggled and then turned back to the tv. 

They watched the rest of movie in relative silence, though Michael watched Alex with Adam more than he watched the screen.

They were in a slightly better place than they were a month ago, and though Michael was just about ready to drop to his knees and beg Alex to give them a chance, he knew the timing was awful, considering everything going on with Jones. 

So, logically, he knew it was better to wait. Knew he had to be patient. 

Seeing Alex like this, soft and fond, with one kid in his arms and one leaning against his leg, was making it harder and harder for him to keep from spilling all his feelings out, though. 

Michael turned his attention to the movie, but found his eyes straying back to Alex, who was now making faces at Adam, making the little boy giggle.

Once upon a time, some years ago, having something like this with Alex had been an achievable dream. It was something they could have worked towards. But now- Michael shook his head at the thought. It didn't really matter, now, did it? 

Alex caught him looking and their eyes locked. The other man cocked his head to the side, probably trying to get a read on him and Michael, for the first time in a really long time, let him see it all; the regret, the longing and the wistfulness and the fear. 

Alex's face softened, and he almost smiled before he swallowed and turned. He looked down st Brie, who was blinking blearily, trying and failing to keep her eyes open. 

Alex cleared his throat and ran his hand through her hair. "Bed time," he reminded her softly. 

"Don't wanna," she mumbled, clutching his leg and staring up at him, doe eyed and pleading. 

Alex chuckled. "Well, you're gonna." He somehow managed to sound firm and gentle at the same time. 

"Please, uncle Alex?"

Alex hesitated and the kid was like a shark who'd caught the scent of blood. "Please," she said, hands clasped under her chin. Then she turned the pleading look onto Michael. "Please, Michael?"

HHe hesitated. "Maybe we can watch another movie?" He suggested, hoping he wasn't overstepping.

Alex sighed in exasperation and though he glared at Michael, there was no real heat in it, so Michael allowed himself to relax. 

"Fine," Alex told Brie, who squealed in delight. "But you have to change into you pyjama and brush your teeth right now," he added sternly.

The little girl nodded quickly and flashed off into her room. 

Alex turned to him, and Michael grinned sheepishly. The other man rolled his eyes and shook his head, but said nothing. 

"Thanks for letting me spend the day with you guys."

"Anytime, Michael."

"I'm done!" Brie shouted as she came running out of the bathroom, and he and Alex both winced.

"B, inside voice."

"Sorry!"

"Let me see those teeth."

She dutifully came to stand in front of him and opened her mouth.

"Hmm," Alex mumbled, pretending to inspect them seriously. His hand snuck out from around Adam and he tickled Brie. "Good job."

She giggled and squirmed away. Alex got comfortable, and a little closer to Michael, though he didn't know if that was intentional or not, and rested his head on the back of the couch. 

Thirty minutes into the movie, Michael felt a weight settle on his shoulder and looked down to see Alex asleep. His head was pillowed on Michael's arm, and Adam was asleep in his arms, looking right at home in Alex's arms. He smiled slightly and, against his better judgment, slowly removed his arm from underneath Alex, guided his head to rest on his chest instead, and wrapped his arm around him tightly. 

He'd worry about Mr. Jones and Forrest and the uncertainty of his relationship with Alex tomorrow. For now, this; having Alex close and in his arms was more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not saying Alex was faking at the end just to get close to Michael, but he was totally faking ✋
> 
> Let me know what you thought!


	3. III.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovely people, 'tis the chapter you have all been waiting for! (I hope?)
> 
> Happy Reading!!

"I need your help , man," Gregory said the second Michael answered the phone. Michael pulled the phone away from his ear and squinted at the screen. 

"Greg, do you know it's 5:30 in the morning?"

"Yeah, I'm aware," the man answered, sounding sheepish. "Listen, I'm sorry to wake you, but I need your help."

"Greg-"

"It's for my kids, Michael," Greg told him, quiet and pleading.

Michael sighed. "Alright. What do you need?"  
.....  
Michael stepped into the gym/theater, fully expecting a literal disaster. What he found, instead, was about fifteen kids, all of whom seemed mesmerized by the man singing and playing the piano.

His heart skipped a beat.

 _Alex_.

A hand clasped his shoulder and he turned to see a smiling Gregory. 

"Hey, man. Thanks for coming."

Michael swallowed. "No problem. What do you need?" He asked quickly, hoping whatever Greg needed him to do was far away from Alex's voice, and his smile and-

"Michael?"

Only then did Michael realize he'd turned back to look at Alex, and he'd been staring at himfor an embarrassing amount of time. 

Greg was looking at him knowingly, a tiny smirk on his face. "You good?"

"Yeah. Just show me what you need me to do."  
..........

It took Michael about fifteen minutes to suspect Gregory had an ulterior motive for asking him to come since the things he had him do could've been easily done by any handyman worth his salt. He kept his suspicions to himself, though and finished up.

"Hey, you're done already?" Greg sounded surprised and- a little panicked? 

"Yeah, I am. Need anything else?"

Greg pursed his lips, took a few seconds to think and then his eyes lit up. "Oh, yeah! The lights out-"

"Greg, cut the crap. Why am I really here?" 

Gregory's shoulders slumped. He walked to the corner of the room and when he turned around to face him, Michael saw that he was holding a very familiar guitar case. 

Greg smiled nervously. "I wanted you both to play for the kids. Like a real concert."

Michael searched his face. "And?"

He huffed and crossed his arms. "And I was hoping it would make you guys talk? Bring back old memories? I don't know!"

Michael wasn't as shocked as he should have been, and he wasn't as angry as Gregory seemed to expect. 

Michael was just _tired_.

After the movie night with Bradley's kids, things between him and Alex stayed the same, more or less. They were friendly, Alex was distant, and Michael was left to constantly wonder if he was too late and he'd missed his chance with him.

"I don't think Alex and I are on the same page, Greg."

"You can't know that," Gregory protested, "not until you've actually sat down and talked about it. You both need to stop tiptoeing around each other." 

The older man extended his arm, and Michael only hesitated a little before he took the guitar.  
...

When he got back to the main area, there was no sign of Alex. The kids were scattered around the gym, decorating, and he grabbed the closest one; a boy who was maybe ten years old. 

"Hey, do you know where Alex is?" 

"Who?"

"The guy who was playing on the piano."

The confusion cleared from the kid's face and he pointed somewhere vaguely behind the curtains on the stage.

Michael headed there cautiously and stopped in his tracks when he heard Alex's voice.

"-it's okay if you don't want to."

"It's not," a girl cried, frustration coloring her words, "my dad will be- he'll be disappointed in me. Plus, I promised Mr. Manes I would do it and he's counting on me."

"Listen, I'm going to tell you something that I learned the hard way; you have to stop caring about what people think and want more than you care about what you want. Do things at your own pace."

"But- I can't just turn it off," she told him, looking up at him like he had all the answers. Michael smiled softly.

Alex put his arm around the girl's slim shoulders and pulled her into his side. "I know it's hard, and I understand the pressure that comes with choosing something for yourself when it's not necessarily what everyone else wants for you. But- this is a good place to start. You just had a panic attack, Enola. You have to take care of yourself."

She nodded and looked down.

"But-" Alex said and lifted her chin up so that her eyes met his. "-if this is something you want, but you're just nervous about being on stage, then I'll practice with you as many times as you want, and I'll be there every step of the way, okay?"

She nodded slowly, then suddenly got up and threw herself into her arms. "Thank you," she told him quietly.

Alex's expression was obscured by her hair, but Michael saw his arms come up around her. "You're welcome."

The girl got up and bounded down the stairs and away. Alex sighed and got up, and Michael caught the end of a grimace on his face. He stopped in his tracks, eyes wide and fixed on Michael. "Michael?"

Michael smiled warmly. "Hey."

Alex's smile was small, and definitely confused. "Hi. What are you doing here?"

"Greg called. Needed me for a couple of things here."

Alex nodded.

Michael pulled his hands from behind his back, revealing the guitar case. The relaxed posture disappeared, and his eyes shuttered. 

"We can't go on like this, Alex. I think we should talk."

Alex shook his head. "Maybe we don't. We have a good thing going, Michael," he said desperately, "why ruin it?"

That pissed Michaeloff to no end. "Because it could be better!"

Alex shook his head. "We shouldn't be having this conversation."

His words were like a stab right to the heart, and Michael suddenly felt empty. It hurt, to think that after all they'd been through, Alex was ready to give up on them just like that, without even trying. He'd been hoping, for over two months now, that they would manage to find each other eventually. And now, that hope was crushed. 

"Michael?"

He snapped out of it, and looked at him, meeting his concerned gaze with an empty one. "What?"

"Are you okay?"

Michael laughed incredulously. "You just shot me down, when we've been working towards this fucking conversation for fucking months, Alex, do you think I'm okay?"

Alex looked stunned. "I didn't say _that_!"

"You _literally_ just said it."

Alex huffed out an exasperated breath. "I meant that we shouldn't be having this conversation here and now, Michael."

Michael straightened up. "Oh," he breathed out, hope resurging. "Okay."

"Hey, you two," Greg smiled. "You've got about ten minutes to figure out what you're going to sing to the kids."

"What-!"

"Greg, what are y-"

"Alex, you were already on board with this. Michael, you know you want to do it, so just- talk about it, will you?"  
.....

Michael couldn't keep the grin off his face as he and Alex played about three songs for the kids, and they all loved every single one. Alex seemed lighter here, and Michael couldn't help but remember the words he'd said to Flint, about his dreams of starting a dad band, and how though this wasn't exactly how he'd dreamed it to be, it was still close, and it was amazing to share it with Alex. 

Michael started to put his guitar in the case when there was a rustling behind them and Greg poked his head out.

"Alex," he hissed quietly. 

Alex turned. "What?"

"One more song."

Alex rolled his eyes. "No more, Greg. We're both done, okay? Plus, the kids can-"

"Alex. Your song."

"No," Alex said firmly, no room for argument. 

"You have to."

Alex glared at his brother. "No, I really don't," he told him icily."

"Will you?" Michael interjected quietly.

Alex's gaze flew to him and Michael attempted to smile. "I didn't get to hear it all the way through the last time."

"Yeah," Alex agreed mildly, "because you walked out."

"I wasn't ready to hear it then, Alex," he whispered, earnest and cautiously hopeful.

"And you are now?"

Michael took a deep breath and blew it out forcefully. "I am."

Alex hesitated at first, but then he nodded at him, then at Greg, who grinned widely and threw them both a thumbs up. 

Alex shook his head and rolled his eyes, but he seemed less nervous and more grounded now.

Michael tried to catch Alex's eyes, but the other man seemed to be actively avoiding eye contact so Michael zipped up the case and left the stage.

He heard the first piano notes, and forced himself to continue walking down the stairs.

_My father taught me home is where the hurt is_   
_So I built a fortress_   
_Where I lived alone_

_He said ships were never meant to have a harbor_   
_So I've worn this armor_   
_I've fought and flown_

Hearing those words made him ache for Alex. And, surprisingly, it made him understand the other man a little better. Growing up the way he did must have been lonely for Alex, who must've had to hide a part of himself for a long time, and then, when he couldn't pretend any longer, he'd suffered even more for it. And all along, he'd been alone. An abusive father, an absent mother, and brothers who had probably looked away from what was happening rather than _stop it._

_I was raised a soldier_   
_Put my weapons down to hold you_   
_Is a kiss an act of war?_   
_I just tried to keep you warm_   
_Even though I couldn't stay_   
_No you never looked away_   
_Now I can't look away_

Alex wasn't looking at him still, and Michael was about to explode with his need to see the look in Alex's eyes as he sang those lines. Though, most of the time, his voice was enough to convey all the things he was hiding, or at least trying to hide.

He hadn't been really listening to the words the first time he heard the song, too stunned to see Alex on a stage to think of much else, but now he was really listening and the words somehow tore at his heart and rebuilt it at the same time. Michael remembered seventeen year old Alex offering him the toolshed just because it was winter and the nights were cold, he remembered thinking, years later, that Alex was the only person beside Max and Isobel to show him kindness. 

_Would you meet me in the middle?_   
_Could we both stop keeping score?_   
_There's a battle I must fight alone_   
_It's you I'm fighting for_   
_If I call off the battalion_   
_Break my walls down stone by stone_   
_Tear down my defenses_   
_I can build your heart a home_   
_And if I did_   
_Would you come home?_

How had he been able to leave the first time? How had he heard those words and still been able to walk away? Alex hadn't sang the song for him, many hadn't ever written it for him, but it was about him, and Michael hated himself a little bit for not handling things well. 

_I still find my father's shrapnel_   
_Buried, beneath my skin_   
_But I've begun to heal in all the places_   
_Your hands have been_

Michael closed his eyes, trying and failing to keep the tears at bay. To know that he'd been a healing force in Alex's life, that he'd helped, filled him with an inexplicable feeling of pride. He'd never been sure of his place in Alex's life; there had been some moments when he had, but they were so few and far between that doubt always managed to creep in. 

Hearing these words now meant more than he could ever put into words. 

_Would you meet me in the middle, can we both stop keeping score?_   
_There's a battle I must fight alone_   
_It's you I'm fighting for_   
_If I call off the battalion_   
_Break my walls down stone by stone_   
_Tear down my defenses_   
_I can build your heart a home_   
_And if I did_   
_Would you come home?_

_Wish I found the words when we were seventeen_

He opened his eyes, and Alex's eyes met his for the first time since he started the song. 

You were the best of me

Silent tears made their way down his cheeks and he didn't bother to wipe them away, afraid to lose one second of contact with the man he loves.

_You are the best of me_

Six words, just six words, and they managed to destroy him and build him up in equal measures. 

There were applause, and then Alex left the stage while Gregory came on. Michael went after Alex immediately, jogging up the stage, startling Greg, and then going behind the curtains. He caught a glimpse of Alex opening the back door and quickened his steps.

Alex looked up when the door banged open, and Michael's eyes found his in the dimming light of the setting sun. 

His hair was disheveled, like he'd ran his fingers through it, and he was trembling. 

"Hey," Michael offered lamely.

Alex laughed and shook his head, looking to the side. Michael watched as he sniffled, and wondered how he was able to keep it together. Michael's eyes hadn't dried since he'd heard the first lines of his song.

"I'm sorry," Michael started, voice shaky and thick. 

Alex's head snapped to him and they stared at each other for a good minute. Michael was getting nervous, realizing that Alex still hadn't said anything.

He took a step closer, and Alex hugged himself, but he at least didn't step back. "Alex?"

"Yeah?" His voice was hoarse and he looked almost scared. 

"I'm sorry for leaving that night," he told him quietly. Alex sniffled, but otherwise didn't say anything else. "I'm sorry for wasting so much time. And I'm _so sorry_ for walking away. I thought I was doing the right thing for the both of us."

He'd been steadily stepping closer to him and, miraculously, Alex didn't move back. Once he was an arm's length away, he smiled, and tried not to cry. 

"I-" his voice broke, so he cleared his throat and tried again. "I didn't sing it for you," he admitted. "I was- I didn't know you'd be there. I remember desperately hoping for it, though. I remember- the minute I saw you, Michael, I was singing it for you. And I was so goddamn happy about it. But then you left."

"And you chose Forrest."

Alex's mouth dropped open. "Don't you dare hold that against me-"

"I'm not!" Protested Michael, stepping closer.

Alex glared at him. "Yes, you are." He pointed a finger at him, fire lighting up in his eyes. "I thought you didn't want me anymore."

Michael gaped at him. "Are you crazy?! I have never- and I mean _never_ \- stopped wanting you, Alex."

"Then why did you leave?" Despite what Michael knew was his best effort, Alex's voice broke, and he sounded lost. 

Michael wanted to hold him. He also wanted to erase the last couple of months and do things over. 

He couldn't do either.

"I'm sorry," Michael put both hands on Alex's shoulders. "I'm sorry I left."

Alex was very obviously trying to keep it together and was on the verge of failing. "Why did you?"

"Because I thought we needed more time. Because if I had stayed- I don't think I would have been able to keep my distance. I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from kissing you." When Alex didn't shrug him off, he gently shifted his fingers to Alex's neck. "I was scared that we would jump into something we weren't ready for, that history would repeat itself and, Alex- you gotta know I'm not strong enough to lose you again." 

Alex shook his head. "I thought I lost _you_ , when you left." 

Michael shook his head. He stepped even closer, until they were standing toe to toe, and rested his forehead on Alex's. He let out a breath, whole body relaxing and only then did he realize how tense he'd been. 

"You can never lose me. After twelve years, how can you even think that?" 

Alex tried to shrug, but it was awkward with Michael's hand on his neck. "You're the best thing that happened to me, you know that?"

Alex sniffled and shook his head. Michael pulled back to look him in the eyes. 

"You are. You always have been, it's why it hurt so much, every time you left." 

"I-" Alex swallowed. "Did you ever consider just calling it quits? Save ourselves the heartbreak."

"Not once," Michael answered immediately. "I'd rather have you, and all the love and happiness pain and misery that comes with it, than to not have you, Alex. Even if it means not getting hurt."

"And what if it means you're happier? What if you're happier without me?"

Michael's brows furrowed and he very nearly glared at Alex. "I have never been happier than when I'm with you. Never."

Tears were running freely down his face now, but he didn't make a sound. Michael pulled him close and closed his eyes when Alex buried his face in his neck- his favorite hiding spot.

His arms tightened around Alex, and they spent a few minutes wrapped in each other's arms and crying silently. 

Michael was the first to pull away, and he only did it to hold Alex's face in his hands. "I-" he took a shaky breath, suddenly nervous. But then he looked at Alex, his beautiful eyes wide and red and vulnerable, and gathered the courage to say what he should have said years ago.

"I love you. I'm in love with you. Have been for a really long ti-"

Alex's lips crashed into his, drawing a surprised moan out of Michael, and his arms wrapped around his face tightly. Michael, on the other hand, couldn't find one spot to rest his hand on. He clutched at Alex's sides hard enough to leave a bruise, but then he moved his hands slowly, dragging them up his chest until his left hand settled over Alex's heart. He smiled into their third- or maybe fourth?- kiss when he felt the frantic beat of Alex's heart. 

Alex pulled away and his eyes flitted between Michael's, and when he pulled him into a kiss this time, it was drastically different than the previous kisses. This was slower, for one, and it was so much softer. Their tears mingled together, and Michael tasted salt on his tongue.

It was possibly the best kiss they'd shared. 

Alex pulled away, but he didn't go far. He pressed chaste kisses to Michael's cheeks, then his jaw and finally, to his neck. Michael shivered, and Alex, encouraged by the reaction, sucked a bit of skin between his teeth and bit it gently, tongue immediately darting out to soothe the hurt. Michael sucked in a surprised breath and bit back a moan. 

Michael pulled him up to kiss him again, and in his rush, he miscalculated and his lips landed on the corner of Alex's.

He lingered there, instead of kissing him again like he wanted to, and listened to their heavy breaths slow gradually, and tried to convince himself that this was real; that he wasn't dreaming.

"Hey, Michael," Alex mumbled and when Michael could get himself to move away from him, he smiled. "I love you, too, in case that wasn't obvious."

Michael grinned and leaned in, but when the door they'd exited through banged open, they both whirled around to see who it was. 

Gregory took one look at them and a slow smile appeared on his lips. "Finally!" He called out and then turned around and left.

He and Alex looked at each other and then burst out laughing, collapsing into each other.

Their laughter died down, and Michael watched Alex, his eyes crinkled happily and his lips stretched into a wide smile. 

"I really do love you," he couldn't help but repeat it, just to watch Alex's eyes light up in wonder. 

Alex kissed him sweetly. "I love you."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! 🖤


	4. IV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so nervous about this chapter. I have no idea what I'm doing with this chapter.
> 
> And I hope you enjoy
> 
> Happy Reading!! 🖤

"Knock knock!"

Isobel poked her head in and Michael grinned, nervousness forgotten. His smile broadened when Max followed her in, both of them smiling widely at him. 

He spread his arms to the side. "How do I look?"

"You look great, Michael," Isobel said, voice thick with tears. She was clearly trying very hard not to cry, and Max, when Michael chanced a look at him, wasn't faring any better. 

Isobel pulled him into a tight hug, then patted his cheek with a watery smile and stepped aside. Max took her place, pulling him into a bear hug. 

"I'm so proud of you," Max whispered into his ear. "And I am so happy for you, Michael."

Michael sniffled. "Thank you. Now get off me, you big lug," he whined playfully.

Max pulled back and rolled his eyes, shoving Michael gently.

"We'll see you out there," Max said with a grin. His brother put an arm around their sister's shoulder and steered her out of the room.

Michael took a deep breath, blew it out slowly and tried to contain the mess of emotions he was feeling.

He smoothed a hand down his suit jacket, straightening out imaginary wrinkles. 

"Michael?"

"Liz?" 

His sister-in-law came in and closed the door behind her gently. She had her heels in one hand, and the other one was resting on her prominent baby bump. When she turned around, she was smiling. It only took a few seconds for her to tear up and Michael chuckled and went over to hug her. 

She squeezed him within an inch of his life, and when she let him go, she smoothed a hand down his shoulders to his arms. "Look at you!" She exclaimed tearfully. "You look so handsome, Mikey."

"It's just a suit," he teased her gently. "You've seen me wear a suit before, Lizzy."

She swatted his arm and huffed when her phone buzzed in her hand. She muttered a few curses in Spanish. Michael rested his hand on her belly and frowned in mock disapproval. "Little ears, Liz."

She rolled her eyes. "Your brother is driving me insane." She took his hand and walked them both over to the chairs in the corner of the room. She sat down, and put her feet up on his thighs. "He keeps telling me to rest. Do you know what we fought about this morning?"

He couldn't keep an amused smile off his face. "What?"

"Heels. We fought about heels, Michael." She huffed.

"Why?"

"He didn't want me to wear them because, apparently they're bad for my back."

Michael looked pointedly at said heels, which she'd abandoned by the door, and then at her with a pointed lift of his eyebrows. 

She shrugged sheepishly. "They're so pretty! And who knows when I'll be able to wear them again."

He laughed and she chuckled along with him, hand rubbing absentmindedly at her belly. "How are you feeling?"

Their eyes locked and he realized with a jolt that she'd been distracting him, and that it had worked. 

"Excited." She raised an eyebrow and he deflated. "Nervous, terrified" he admitted, a little ashamed.

She settled her legs on the floor and leaned, a little awkwardly, to hold his hand with her smaller ones. "You know, I was so nervous before my wedding, I was nearly vibrating out of my skin."

He let out a breath. "Yeah?"

She smiled, her nose crinkled, and Michael couldn't help but smile too. "Oh yeah, but the minute you see him, it'll all go away."

He slid closer and hugged her, albeit awkwardly considering their positions.

Her phone rang and she smiled, exasperated and fond in equal measures. "Hi, babe," she answered. "I'm resting my feet like you told me to," she protested, then laughed at whatever Max said in reply. She stood up with a groan. "I'm fine, Max! I'm pregnant, not an invalid."

When she was at the door, she opened it, stepped out and then came back in. "Oh, and Mikey?" She smirked. "You look good."

He laughed. "Get out of here!"  
.

_This is the first day of my life_   
_Swear I was born right in the doorway_   
_I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed_   
_They're spreading blankets on the beach_

Michael had Alex's hand in his, while the other was on his shoulder. It was a bit hard to dance slow to this song, but they didn't care, and they made it work somehow. 

_Yours was the first face that I saw_   
_I think I was blind before I met you_   
_And I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been_   
_But I know where I want to go_

"I love this song," Alex told him with a grin.

"And thank god for that." Michael leaned in close, the beginning of a teasing grin appearing on his face. "If you hadn't, we'd probably still be arguing over which song to dance to."

Alex huffed. "You didn't like any of my suggestions either, you know."

Michael chuckled and placed a chaste kiss on Alex's lips, then his cheek. He felt him smile and his own smile widened. 

_So if you wanna be with me_   
_With these things there's no telling_   
_We just have to wait and see_   
_But I'd rather be working for a paycheck_   
_Than waiting to win the lottery, ah-ha, mm-hmm_   
_Besides, maybe this time is different_   
_I mean, I really think you like me_

The song ended, and they stayed in each other's arms, swaying slowly and lost in each other's arms. 

Michael felt small hands push at his legs and when he looked down, he saw their four year old niece poking his leg insistently. He and Alex separated and crouched down to her level. She ignored Michael in favor of snuggling into Alex's arms, and his husband- Michael was sure he was never getting tired of saying that- sent him a smug smile from over Gemma's head. They stood up slowly and Michael put a subtle hand on Alex's back, just in case he needed a bit of support.

The second they were both standing, she held her hands up to Alex and said, "I wanna dance now," with all the authority her three feet tall body could muster. 

Michael stifled a laugh and watched adoringly as Alex picked up the little girl with an exaggerated groan. 

Michael stroked a hand down her hair, though he made sure not to mess it up, and smiled when she glanced at him. "Hey, Gem, can I dance with you?"

"No," she said decisively.

Michael clutched his chest in mild hurt and pouted. Gemma huffed and patted his cheek. "It's okay, uncle Michael; don't be sad. I'll dance with you, too." He gave the laughing Alex a smug smile and made to take her out of his arms, but the little girl pushed his hand away. He spluttered and watched her lay her head on Alex's shoulder. The other man shrugged, his shoulders shaking with laughter.

Michael huffed and stepped aside, watched Alex hug the little girl close and whisper something to her that made her giggle. He looked around, and when he spotted the water bottle at the nearest table, he realized how thirsty he was. He went to grab it, but then he was intercepted by his sister. "Let's dance," she said as she dragged him back to the dance floor. 

Michael groaned. "Now I know where Gemma gets it from," he muttered, as he allowed her to tow him behind her.

The song playing was slow, and it wasn't one he recognized. Alex was now twirling a giggling Gemma, who seemed to be having the time of her life. 

"Pigs are flying, aren't they, Michael?"

"Hmm," he said, but a second later the words registered and he tore his eyes away from the adorable sight of his husband and his niece dancing. "Cute," he told her, rolling his eyes.

"I'd be offended by you ignoring me, but I know exactly what it's like to see the guy you love with kids," she sympathized, a shit-eating grin on her face. Michael definitely did not blush, but he did roll his eyes. "It does things to ya."

"Shut up."

She suddenly laughed, and when he followed her line of sight, he joined her. Gemma seemed to be teaching Alex a dance, albeit clumsily, and his husband was definitely stifling a laugh as he tried to imitate her moves.

"Aw, she's such a spaz," she said fondly. 

Michael shook his head at her and laughed. Greg came over to them, their two month old baby sleeping in one arm and wrapped the other around Isobel. She smiled and leaned back into his embrace, closing her eyes when he kissed her cheek. Michael smiled, thankful beyond measure that she'd found someone who loved her like she deserved.

The beginning notes of a familiar song replaced the slow one, and Michael grinned when Liz, Rosa and Maria came rushing onto the dance floor, dragging a reluctant Max and an amused Kyle with them. The nine of them, plus Gemma, started jumping around and dancing like kids to the cheerful notes of Mrs' Potter's Lullaby. 

Alex, who had somehow been able to learn Gem's dance, was dancing with the little girl, both of them laughing so hard he was surprised they were still standing.

Michael stopped dancing altogether and just stared at his husband. Alex's tie, along with his suit jacket, had been abandoned on some chair in the room, his sleeves were rolled up till his elbows, and his hair was disheveled in a way that no one else could pull off. Smiling and laughing, Michael could safely say he'd never seen him so happy as he was now. 

He made his way to him, and saw Gemma hug Alex's legs. She looked up at him with a look of pure adoration, and he returned it tenfold. 

He couldn't help but picture him like that with their own kids. His heart ached for it; for the possibility of having their own little family someday in the future. 

"Hey," Alex called out to him over the music, hand extended towards him and fingers wiggling impatiently to have his own wrapped around them. He pulled him close and pressed a sweet, lingering kiss to his cheek, then carded his hand through Michael's hair. 

Michael smiled and leaned in, kissing him tenderly and leaning his forehead oh his husband's temple. "I love you so much, Alex."

"I love you, too."

Michael leaned his head on Alex's shoulder, closed his eyes, and smiled. He'd just married the love of his life, he was surrounded by their family, and he was truly happy.

For now, it was way more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The weddings in my country are drastically different, but I did my best with this. I hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed (let me know in the comments, please?) 
> 
> I will not be talking about update schedules because I've never been able to follow one, and I just end up looking like a liar.


End file.
